Remember that moment when you were little – you got smacked with a baseball in Little League – you stopped to attend to the pain – your coach yelled at you “Cry later, throw the ball to first base! Suck it up!” We all have this story, whether it was getting kicked in soccer, a smacked nose in basketball, we all have the moment when we learned in order to be acceptable you have to suck it up and get the job done.
Men have been trained to disregard internal emotional processes so the job gets done.
Because we believe emotions just get in the way, we have learned to disregard or stuff our emotional processes. So our emotional energy gets packed in like thick black paste deep in our bowels. It sits there for a time until the energy releases like a dam, in an explosion. Like holding a beachball underwater, it will eventually splash to the surface, usually with a ton of energy. Not a pretty sight.
One of our greatest pitfalls is believing the lie that our emotions get in the way, are useless, irrational or feminine.
In order to be whole and live with vigor, strength and integrity, a man must value his emotional processes and learn to use them as important information about his life.
If you are emotionally unaware and disregard your emotions you will miss out on the very best life has to offer.
Your emotions guide you into deep personal connection, help you develop your passions, teach you who you are, help identify meaning in life, show you your next move; your emotions are central to a solid life.
Your emotions are like your digestive system; in order to be in good working order, they have to keep moving.
You have to let your emotions move through you; you’ve got to identify them, feel them, process them, talk about them when they are there. You cannot stuff them, save them for later or disregard them. In real time you have to trust that they are an important part of you and give them the time they need. Keep your emotions moving. If not, you will suffer from emotional constipation, bad things happen when you are constipated.
Start by checking in with yourself. Ask yourself how your heart is doing. When you feel energy start to rise up, look at it, name it and trust that it is important. Find out what it is and why it is there.
Emotions are not feminine or masculine, they are human. The way a woman processes her emotions is feminine. The way a man does emotion is masculine. So learn how a man does emotion. Read about Emotional Awareness. Feel , be aware and say it. Let it move.
Have you had your EM today?